Beginners Guide to Trader Joe’s Craft Beer

If there’s anything I think we can all agree on in America, it’s that Trader Joe’s is the sh*t. From their salsas to desserts, to free samples, there’s no doubt they know what they are doing. There is also one other major thing that comes to mind when you think of this world-class grocer: CHEAP. When strolling through the beer aisle, I typically skip their Trader Joe’s branded, insanely affordable craft beers in order to pick up some really awesome local singles. This time around I decided to give their in-house beers a try. I selected 9 random, differently styled Trader Joe’s exclusive beers. So…here’s how it went:

Alternate Dimension Altbier

Price: $1.00
ABV: 5.6%

This beer appeared midnight black until I took a closer look at it in the light and noticed it was almost purple because it was such a deep red. I actually didn’t even properly know what an Altbier was until I looked it up. It’s basically a forgotten German style some people refer to today as an “amber hybrid.” The taste was lacking, I’m not sure what was missing, but something was. Honestly, it was not a terrible beer. I’m just going to write it off as an unfamiliar style. However, I personally would not buy this one again though. Moving on…

Simpler Times Lager

Price: $0.59
ABV: 6.2%

Guys, at $3.99 a six-pack, this beer is just as good (or bad) as any old Bud/Coors/Miller Light, but at half the price (and higher alcohol content). This stuff is legendary. If you are playing beer pong, chugging or participating in beer Olympics, this is your beer. If you aren’t in a situation that calls for quantity over quality, however, I probably wouldn’t bother.

Boatswain Double IPA

Price: $0.84
ABV: 8.4%

I know I raved about the value of simple times lager, but this beer has just as an important spot when we are talking price to alcohol ratio. At 8.4% ABV and only 5 bucks a six-pack, this beer can be dangerous. I am well versed in double IPA’s and was surprised this was not quite as terrible as I expected. The alcohol burn is there as I expected, but the hoppiness was not. It’s rather malty for a double IPA, but not a bad beer. I would suggest this beer after you’ve had a couple other beers, so your pallet is not quite as keen. This is a great offering if you’re craving a high ABV beer on a budget.

Josephbrau Hefeweizen

Price: $1.00
ABV: 5.3%

So this beer caught me by surprise. This was probably my favorite beer I tried. This is one beautifully done hefeweizen. It had the classic grassy/wheat aroma one would expect of this style, and the taste pleasantly followed. So smooth and balanced, I honestly could not believe what I was experiencing. I truly enjoyed this beer. Additionally, if I did not know this was from Trader Joe’s, I would’ve thought this was a premium craft hefeweizen. Definitely going to be buying and recommending this one to friends. My two-cents…buy this beer.

Boatswain Chocolate Stout

Price: $0.84
ABV: 5.4%

I was super stoked to see what Trader Joe’s could offer in a stout, but that was the peak of my excitement with this beer. When I smell a stout, I expect to instantly pick up on roasted malts, and rich, dark flavors. This beer had none of that. I was hoping the taste would be better, but it was rather thin and lacked much chocolate flavor, instead, I got more smoke than anything. To me, this beer would be better marketed as a smoked chocolate porter. If you are looking for an affordable chocolate stout, look elsewhere. ?

Tijuana Lager

Price: $0.75
ABV: 5%

As much of a beer nerd as I am, I hate to admit that on hot summer days I don’t crave Bell’s Two-Hearted or a barrel-aged imperial stout. What I do crave is the beautiful sound of cracking a cold Mexican lager. This beer smelled just like Pacifico, however, the taste was lacking. It was not bad by any means, but then I had an idea… LIME! After adding some lime juice, this thing transformed into a Modelo Especial! You can get a 12-pack of this stuff for the price of a sixer’ of any standard Mexican lager. In my book, as long as limes are available, there is no reason to ever buy another Mexican beer.

Trader Joe’s Sour Grapefruit Ale (Petrus collaboration)

Price: $7.99
ABV: 5%

So I kind of expected this beer to be the best…and it kind of was. In defense of the other beers in this article, this was in collaboration with Petrus, who is known for producing some top-tier sours out of Belgium, as you can tell by the price tag. I brought this bottle to the beach with my girlfriend to watch the sunset. Romantic, I know. So, naturally, I enjoyed the fanciest of the nine beers out of a solo cup. This beer was hardly even a beer. Absolutely no detection of alcohol and tasted like sweet, tangy grapefruit and sour apple candy. Not too sweet, very tart and crisp. It is just a great sour. If they could price this like they price their other beers, I don’t know if I would ever purchase anything else.

Henry Hotspur’s Hard-Pressed Cider

Price: $1.17
ABV: 5.5%

I’m just going to start by saying I’m NOT a cider person, but I felt for this article, I had to give all of their offerings a fair shot. So, here I am drinking a hard cider. I got everything I expected on the first whiff: Apple juice aroma with slight alcohol undertones. Then I tasted it…Wow! This is not overly sweet; as I remember almost every hard cider I’ve ever tried. It was actually pretty good. I would honestly buy this again on the off chance I ever get a cider craving. Decent carbonation, a little thin, but refreshing. It is a cider after all. Well done, Henry.

Drive-Thru Red Ale

Price: $1.00
ABV: 7.2%

So here we are, last but not least, the Drive-Thru Red Ale. This style has never been one of my favorites, but for the style, this is a solid beer. It doesn’t pour an amber color as one would typically expect of the style, but once you sip it, you immediately know what you’re drinking. What surprised me about this beer is not the fact it was actually a pretty good beer, but the alcohol content, which dials in at a respectable 7.2%. If you like red ales, buy this. Buy the whole six-pack.